Empathy Shouldn't be an Exception
The definition of empathy is: "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person."
And one of the most powerful and frightening feelings you can possess is the feeling of uncertainty.
I know this, firsthand.
Last week, I delivered a keynote
presentation on the power of experiences to the US Oncology Network (some of the attendees are new here to The Baer Facts - hi!).
Of the 1,000+ presentations I've done, this was one of the most challenging.
Not because of the material, or the audience, but because I chose the path of vulnerability; which is NOT my default setting. I am Swiss, Norwegian, and Danish - not exactly places known for feeling all the feels.
I don't weave my personal emotions into my work on stage. But this time, for the first time, I used my own experiences as evidence for why empathy matters more than we think.
About 35 months ago, I had surgery for stage 3 melanoma, with a side order of lymph node drama. Afterwards, I got Keytruda infusions
for a year.
I never mentioned it here, or anywhere, because I didn't want people to
worry. But indeed, I was worried.
One thing I knew, but now I REALLY know, is that as
soon as the doctor says "cancer" you have a LOT of questions.
How, when, and where those
questions are answered (or not) has a massive impact on patient psychology. This is also true in whatever business you're in: uncertainty creates anxiety. Period.
My oncologist is terrific. But where I was really flabbergasted during the whole ordeal was during my surgery. And I talked about this on stage last week.
With my heart beating out of my chest, I put on my gown at the IU Health Bloomington hospital. Tried to stay calm, but my mind was a kaleidoscope.
But then, the lead nurse came into the room and asked me: "What's the most important thing to you today?"
I assumed "waking up" was too obvious. So I pondered and said "to understand what's happening, and then what's going to happen next."
And she immediately wrote on a big whiteboard in the room: "Jay wants most to understand what's happening."
Then, every time a new nurse, anesthesiologist, surgeon entered the room, they first looked at the white board and said "I understand Jay, that what's most important to you
today is to understand what's happening. So let me tell you."
It was a symphony of
empathy.
Understand and share the feelings of another person.
Empathy doesn't require exceptional effort. A whiteboard and a marker, in my case. But empathy delivers exceptional
results.
You many not have the opportunity to use a white board in this way. But
you do (or soon will) have the option to gather similar information, and bake it into your customer interactions.
I've been working with a lot of AI-powered customer experience software lately, and the ability to use machine learning to infer what your customers care about most, and then interact with each of them accordingly can turn customer experience on its ear.
But it's up to you to make it happen.
Efficiency is often the enemy of empathy. And I'm concerned that most businesses will adopt AI solely to shave operating costs, instead of using these new tools to enhance empathy and build demonstrably better customer experiences.
Thanks for reading this far, and letting me get this off my chest, finally.
p.s. - Please wear sunscreen.
